Gothic Granola AUT FACERE AUT MORI

Tag Archives: Oatmeal

Banana Cookies

If a recipe has a superlative adjective in the title, I raise my eyebrows.  Calling something the “best,” “last you’ll ever need,” “fudgiest,” etc., is a matter of opinion.

Crustuli delectamentissimus sunt.

That photo couldn’t be more staged if I tried (and I tried to take a neat photo for once!).

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Maple Oatmeal Cookies

There are some cookies that just get down on their knees and beg to be rewritten.  Not such a tough cookie now, are you?!

maple oatmeal cookies | vegan gluten-free | gothic granola

MINE, says Poppet bun.

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Pants | Life-Changing Bread


I don’t like pants. I don’t like to wear pants that cover my calves. Simply do not like the feeling of cloth on my shins, particularly in the less-sensitive spots (voluntarily wearing short pants in single-degree temperatures growing up did that).  Leggings don’t count as pants since they’re borderline between tights and pants, and I like tights/stockings/knee highs/socks in general.




The temperature has been hovering in the single digits Fahrenheit. I must be getting old because I rolled down my pants to go for a walk on Thursday.


Last week, I was commissioned to make the Life-Changing Loaf of Bread from My New Roots for a friend.

Round 1 turned out awful: tasteless, mooshy, and even the birds didn’t like it, apparently (I wasn’t around to see the results).


Round 2: Baked oatmeal. I am not impressed. I did, however, successfully substitute hempseeds for sunflower seeds and still produce a cohesive loaf.


I let it soak overnight, and I think everything got a little too wet.



 Round 3:
As the bread did not dry out enough in the loaf pan, I increased the surface area and decreased the soaking time to the minimum 2 hours. By round 3, I had acquired sunflower seeds.



Minus that fillip of part of the bread sticking to the pan when it came time to flip it for the second baking, cohesion and dryness achieved. It’s a chewy, toasty, unsweetened granola bar with (kid you not) a shit tonne of fibre.



The Life-Changing Loaf of Bread
Modified from My New Roots


1 1/2 cups GF rolled oats
1 cup sunflower or hemp seeds
1/2 cup ground flax seeds
1/2 cup whole hazelnuts or almonds (or both)
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut shreds
4 tablespoons psyllium seed husks
2 tablespoons chia seeds
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 tablespoon agave nectar (or more maple syrup, or all agave, or honey, or you get the picture)
Scant 1 1/2 cups water

If you line it with parchment, the parchment would get soaked and leech into your final product. So mix everything in an 8*8-inch glass or metal pan and set aside to soak for 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Bake for 30 minutes. Line a baking sheet with a Silpat or parchment. Remove the bread from the oven. Loosen the edges of the bread with a spatula. Invert prepared baking sheet over bread pan, then invert bread onto sheet. Tap (bang on that shit) bread pan bottom (use a potholder, of course) to loosen the bread.

Return to the oven and bake for another 25-30 minutes or until bread is dry.





Parting shots:


This week’s bread commission: ‘nana bread head-to-head. From left to right, newcomer Honky-Tonk Banana Bread from Bake and Destroy versus old standby Lower-Fat Banana Bread from Veganomicon.


Snow!



DIY bulletin board: piece of cardboard taped to a padded envelope, tacked into the wall. Yes, those are Skinny Puppy tickets. This, this is punk rock.

Come to the Dark Side…we have vegan and gluten-free goodies.

Revisitation: Oatmeal Porrij Bread

From the mountaintop of the juice fast, everything is clearer. I assert no moral superiority based on the supposed “purity” of my diet. I revisited the Porrij Bread from June 2013 for a different audience, with different porrij, different leavening, and different music. Funny, I spoke about fasting in that post and that’s what I’m doing now. I wrote about my playlists and I considered highlighting the absurdity of my current one (including Shiny Toy Guns, Celine Dion, London Symphony Orchestra, Combichrist, and Electric Six). This time ’round I’m making this on request (more like demand) for more bread like Mile-High Cinnamon Roll Bread.
 
 

 

 
 

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My Protein Bars Bring All the Boys to the Yard

They really do.

 
 
 
I served over 250 squares of cacao goji hemp protein bars on Wednesday for Foodie Call. This week’s theme was Whole Body, the supplements department. I modified this superfood bar from Earthsprout, having bookmarked the idea when Eleanor included it in her newsletter earlier this year.
 
my protein bars bring all the boys to the yard  | gothic granola

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Carnival Cookies & Preferences

This morning as I ran to the farmers market, I noticed my freshly-loaded iPod shuffle was set on alphabetical sort by song title. Yeh, I didn’t think “Amame” followed “All Because of You.” I prefer to listen to albums in whole chunks with the songs in the artist’s intended order. Having the device on shuffle versus loop would make little difference. I could react in a few ways:
1)    Stay pissed off and complain about it. Take out earbuds in disgust.
2)    Accept it and see how the experience of random alphabetical order sounds.
3)    Change it!
 
Black Cat Society | This recipe picture is lost | Vegan Gluten-free | Gothic Granola
 

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Oatcakes

This recipe has been on my recipe bucket list for over a year. Ownie Mom has had this recipe in her pile of recipes to make for about the same amount of time. She beat me to the punch—or roll, in this case—on New Year’s Eve by making these for brunch.
oatcakes | gothic granola

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