Gothic Granola

Category Archives: Sourdough

Lesson Number One | Cinnamon Rolls for the Year

Let us repeat lesson number one of living with food allergies: You will not be fed. Ever.

So get used to it and plan ahead. You will save yourself time, money, and headache. If you learn anything from reading this blog, this is the lesson, hence why I repeat it so often. If you learn anything else, it’s that with a little planning and thinking, being vegan and gluten-free can be as normal as breathing oxygen.

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Fear of the Un-Scone | Whiskey Fig Banana Scones

“Fear of the Unknown” by Siouxsie and the Banshees


One of my personal rules: don’t give out problems unless you have solutions or suggestions!

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Flat Out: Flatbread

Flatbread, pancakesWelsh cakes–griddled breads give me problems. I either burn or undercook them. There is no middle ground. There is, however, old poetry from 2010.

Syrupy Solution to a Sticky Situation
A frying pan holds everything
you ever could desire
as you pour the batter sings—
Quick!  Turn down the dial.
Domestic chores don’t bring much joy
but this time you’re excused
because you treat tasks like your boys
you’ve left us all confused.
You once again return to me
from your wander-days,
but if you want some help from me
you must lift a spoon to stay.
We evermore sing little songs
as stirring cools your nerves
and though they never right the wrongs

pancakes still occur.

I was commissioned to make flatbread.

Sourdough Tortillas

2/3 cup fed teff sourdough starter
1 cup white rice flour (plus more, a lot more, for rolling)
1 cup millet flour
1 cup amaranth flour
1/4 teaspoon xanthan gum
1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt

1/3 cup canola oil
almost 1 cup very hot water

In a large bowl, stir together the starter, flours, xanthan gum, and salt. Stir until the starter balls up into pebbly chunks.  Pour in the canola oil and work that in (like adding liquid to piecrust, same concept).  Add the water in 1/4 cup increments, stirring well after each addition.  Mix until the dough coheres. Cover and let rest in a warm place for about 30 minutes.

Around ten minutes to go in rising time, preheat a dry cast-iron skillet or griddle to medium-high heat (the higher end of medium-high).  On a well-floured surface, form the dough into balls.  With a well-floured rolling pin, roll out to 1/4-inch thickness. 

Transfer to the skillet and cook until firm, about 2 minutes on each side.  Flip when either the bottom has black spots (if you like char) or when the top has begun to buckle.  Cook through and plate up or rack ’em to cool before storing.

Since I have a small skillet, I could only fit two or three small tortillas per batch on the pan. The original recipe says it yields 12 tortillas, but I had more like 20 because I made smaller ones.

I made a super-quick chilli: blitzed onion, garlic, veg broth, spices, pumpkin, kidney and pinto beans.

Fantastic with flatbread and spinach!

Parting shots:
Wednesday was chocoholic city and protein party. I made chocolate vegan Shakeology cookies from 12 Minute Athlete (check out her workouts!). Protein powder is a strange, strange beast when concentrated like that.

 I also got buzzed on batter with my modification of The Holistic Ingredient’s Beetroot, Quinoa and Chocolate Muffins. Midafternoon, I wanted the taste, not the effects of Queen Jennie sorghum whiskey. See 4 eggs, I see 1 cup water and 4 teaspoons of chia seeds, which means half of that water got replaced with half a cup of whiskey. Boozy beets, indeed.

 As if Shakeo cookies and whiskey muffins weren’t enough chocolate, I made a batch of Cocoa Quinoa Bars with hempseeds and cacao nibs again.

Breakfast shot: pureed leftover maple cinnamon persimmons I accidentally defrosted (I thought it was pumpkin curry soup in that jar!) and spinach, over grapefruit, topped with coconut peanutbutter, cinnamon, and turmeric. To the right, that’s the oft-hyped hot water with lemon (what, wellness peeps go bananas over this; the apple cider vinegar cleanse is a similar deal). The granola-looking-foodstuff on the left is leftover destroyed flapjack I rescued, and I had about half of that container. The rest is for a similar deal on Friday.

Come to the Dark Side…we have vegan and gluten-free goodies.

Revisitation: Oatmeal Porrij Bread

From the mountaintop of the juice fast, everything is clearer. I assert no moral superiority based on the supposed “purity” of my diet. I revisited the Porrij Bread from June 2013 for a different audience, with different porrij, different leavening, and different music. Funny, I spoke about fasting in that post and that’s what I’m doing now. I wrote about my playlists and I considered highlighting the absurdity of my current one (including Shiny Toy Guns, Celine Dion, London Symphony Orchestra, Combichrist, and Electric Six). This time ’round I’m making this on request (more like demand) for more bread like Mile-High Cinnamon Roll Bread.



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Pick-up Sticks: Sourdough Breadsticks

This year, I avoided my annual crying jag while driving down I-95 for one reason this T-gives & X-mas of 2013: I didn’t go home. Why?

Sugar. It’s usually the story of my holidays, eating too much cookies, bread, sweet drinks.
Vegan eggnog is just soy, almond, or coconut milk and extra sugar, oftentimes. My cashew nog was mercifully date-sweetened (and rum-spiked).

I’ve become so sensitive that the slightest bit of processed sugar I eat is like giving a drink to an alcoholic. I’ll predictably binge eat after having something very sugary because of how it makes me want more to get the brief high sugar affords.

Q is starting the sugar-free now & continuing until sufficiently detoxed. I’m doing 30 days to start then just keep going. Slough off all the crap, like Pink in The Wall scene for “Comfotably Numb.” I’ve had it with the mood swings and the joint aches.

Yes, there’s sugar in these breadsticks to make ’em rise–you can use agave, maple, coconut sugar, et cetera–for the yeast to eat.

The sickness of sweets and the sourness of sourdough. “Of [noun]” constructions sound so academic, don’t they?

Sourdough Breadsticks (from Classic Sourdoughs )
Modified from Yemoos
1 cup fed teff starter
1 cup teff flour
1 cup brown rice flour
1/3 cup tapioca flour, plus more for rolling
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
3/4 teaspoon sea salt

2/3 cup lukewarm water
2 teaspoons yeast
1 tablespoon organic sugar
1 tablespoon olive oil

Oil for pan
Oil for brushing

3 tablespoons Italian seasoning 
1 teaspoon sea salt

In a large bowl, stir together all the dough ingredients until well-combined. Place in a warm, draft-free place and let rise for an hour or until doubled in size. Cover two baking sheets with parchment paper or foil and oil the pans.

After dough has risen, roll it out on a well-floured surface to a 13″*24″*1/3″ rectangle. With a pizza wheel or sharp knife, cut the bread into 1-inch sticks. Twist the breadsticks as you transfer them to the pans. Brush sticks with oil and sprinkle with seasoning and salt. Let rise for another 45 minutes.

In the last 15 minutes of rising, preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Bake the sticks for 25 minutes or until desired crispness is achieved.

No pictures because it was a busy night. Serve with soup to complement the crunch. As Gentile said, “You can do crust now.”

Parting shots:
Beer & bread yeast as a GIANTmicrobe!

Come to the Dark Side…we have vegan and gluten-free goodies.

Starter Start-up: Flatbread

Starter Start-up: Flatbread
It was like having a pet. Or a vampire in hibernation. I had to go home every day at lunch, mix water and teff flour, and feed the starter. Methinks I should name it Audrey, Junior.
starter start-up | gothic granola

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Cooking with Gas | Penne alla Vodka

Cooking with Gas | Penne alla Vodka

My hands always look like this–the dry skin, not the bird!


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