Gothic Granola

Category Archives: Holidays

Witchy Birthday Dried Blood Red Velvet Cake

The old woman nodded as she listened to the soft, bubbling words [of the spirit of the well].  Then she went back to the cottage, her eyes bright with resolve, her step firm with courage.

She took water from the sieve and sprinkled it over the doorstep.  When she got inside she saw a cake, dark reddish brown and unappetizing to look at, on the table.  ‘They didn’t even wait for me to come back with the water,’ she said to herself.  ‘They were greedy as well as wicked.  But thanks to the spirit of the well I know what is in that cake.’

Geoffry Palmer and Noel Lloyd, “The Horned Witches,” Nine Witch Tales, ed. Abby Kedabra (New York: Scholastic Book Services, 1998), 13.

There were a few magical things about this cake I baked for my birthday: I still had the book from which the above quote is excerpted and the cake actually worked this time.

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Cream Cheeze Cutouts

I did it.  Finally, I have made vegan and gluten-free version of Cream Cheese Cutouts that tastes good, rolls properly, and bakes up soft and slightly puffy, just like I remembered.  Why the spelling differences?  Mine are Cream Cheeze Cutouts due to fake animal products; Ownie Mom’s are Cream Cheese Cutouts, since hers are traditional wheat flour, egg, and dairy, etc.

cream cheeze cutouts cookies vegan gluten-free | gothic granola

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Maraschino Cookies, Music, and Lip Balm

Fun news in my life: I got food poisoning and have been having some ongoing nausea for the last week and a half, hence no blog posts.

Digestive turmoil aside, other things I have been doing include working (open enrollment season! Aaagh!), listening to “new to me” music, instagramming my Halloween socks, following P90X Plus, sorting Legos, and writing.

New Lego Halloween Monsters in some kind of metal music video setup that TC made:

maraschino cherry cookies vegan gluten-free | gothic granola

 

These are not Breast Cancer Awareness Month cookies.  They just…I’m just going to stop here.  TC asked for maraschino sugar cookies and this is what I found.

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Cranberries!

…For when you have cranberries, but sauce seems like too much of a project and pie or bars or muffins are really too much of a project. Juice is also a project. But you have to eat breakfast, right? Why not make a smoothie?

cranberries | Gothic Granola

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National Cookie Day | Black Forest Brownies

National Cookie Day is 4 December, which also happens to be an important date in the novel I’ve been writing since 2006.

If you know me in person, you know that I like vampires: old-school, bloodsucking, remorseless, Dracula, Carmilla, The Vampire Lestat type of vampires. None of this Twilight wishy-washy stuff, a little Charlaine Harris (haven’t read much of her work, but from what I hear…). Some Hemlock Grove as well, though that book (and excellent Netflix series) is about werewolves, which are cool, too. Back to the point. We need food for the brain as much as we do food for the body. Creativity for me (writing, beading, recipe R&D) feeds me, too. And I like vampires.

Waiting Vampire Brownies | Gothic Granola

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Pick-up Sticks: Sourdough Breadsticks

This year, I avoided my annual crying jag while driving down I-95 for one reason this T-gives & X-mas of 2013: I didn’t go home. Why?




Sugar. It’s usually the story of my holidays, eating too much cookies, bread, sweet drinks.
Vegan eggnog is just soy, almond, or coconut milk and extra sugar, oftentimes. My cashew nog was mercifully date-sweetened (and rum-spiked).

I’ve become so sensitive that the slightest bit of processed sugar I eat is like giving a drink to an alcoholic. I’ll predictably binge eat after having something very sugary because of how it makes me want more to get the brief high sugar affords.


Q is starting the sugar-free now & continuing until sufficiently detoxed. I’m doing 30 days to start then just keep going. Slough off all the crap, like Pink in The Wall scene for “Comfotably Numb.” I’ve had it with the mood swings and the joint aches.

Yes, there’s sugar in these breadsticks to make ’em rise–you can use agave, maple, coconut sugar, et cetera–for the yeast to eat.

The sickness of sweets and the sourness of sourdough. “Of [noun]” constructions sound so academic, don’t they?

Sourdough Breadsticks (from Classic Sourdoughs )
Modified from Yemoos
1 cup fed teff starter
1 cup teff flour
1 cup brown rice flour
1/3 cup tapioca flour, plus more for rolling
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
3/4 teaspoon sea salt

2/3 cup lukewarm water
2 teaspoons yeast
1 tablespoon organic sugar
1 tablespoon olive oil

Oil for pan
Oil for brushing

3 tablespoons Italian seasoning 
1 teaspoon sea salt

In a large bowl, stir together all the dough ingredients until well-combined. Place in a warm, draft-free place and let rise for an hour or until doubled in size. Cover two baking sheets with parchment paper or foil and oil the pans.

After dough has risen, roll it out on a well-floured surface to a 13″*24″*1/3″ rectangle. With a pizza wheel or sharp knife, cut the bread into 1-inch sticks. Twist the breadsticks as you transfer them to the pans. Brush sticks with oil and sprinkle with seasoning and salt. Let rise for another 45 minutes.

In the last 15 minutes of rising, preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Bake the sticks for 25 minutes or until desired crispness is achieved.

No pictures because it was a busy night. Serve with soup to complement the crunch. As Gentile said, “You can do crust now.”

Parting shots:
Beer & bread yeast as a GIANTmicrobe!

Come to the Dark Side…we have vegan and gluten-free goodies.

Cashew Eggnog

More tradition-rewriting. My grandmother used to make legit, oldskool eggnog on Christmas Day, with raw eggs. She beat it with the rotary beater she had since she and my grandfather got married. I didn’t ask if she made it this year. It finally hit me when surfing Pinterest this week that I should use those two cups of cashews soaking in the back of the fridge (I had intended to use them for Berry Swirl Cheezecake) for some vegan nog.

Cashew Eggnog | Gothic Granola 

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