Gothic Granola

When Life Gives You Potatoes | Into It/Over It, Gothic Edition

When life gives you potatoes and failed curry, make curried mashed potatoes. (Yes, you can mess up making curry, even when you make it all the time.)

curried mashed potatoes vegan gluten-free | gothic granola

I had tempeh, potatoes, and carrots, whole ginger and turmeric, and a few other spices. Without going into the devolution of my curry, I toasted spices, chopped up the veggies, and boiled them in a curry broth.  Then I used TC’s patent mashed potatoes trick, the hand mixer.

curried mashed potatoes vegan gluten-free | gothic granola

Aaaaand my recipe card plugin quit on me; it doesn’t need to be updated.  I will not give into supernatural enthusiasms…I will not give into supernatural enthusiasms…I will not–oh, hell, it’s Mercury in retrograde.

Now nightshades (i.e., white potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant, etc.) contain compounds which cause inflammation in some individuals (OMFGIH, look at all the paleo pseudo-science out there about this now!), but turmeric contains anti-inflammatory compounds.

So does this dish cancel itself out?  Only my dreams will tell.  I have trippy “nightshade nightmares” after eating nightshade vegetables, almost always guaranteed.

Curry Mashed Potatoes

6 medium russet potatoes, scrubbed, peeled, and cut into 1-inch chunks
6 or so medium carrots, treated like the potatoes
2-inch knob fresh turmeric, peeled and sliced 1/8 inch thick
2-inch knob fresh ginger, peeled and sliced 1/8 inch thick
2 cloves garlic
1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds
dash fennel seeds
dash ground cardamom
1 tablespoon curry powder
5 cups water
1/2 cube vegetable bouillon
2 tablespoons coconut oil, solid

In a large stock pot over medium heat, toast the cumin and fennel until fragrant.
Add the rest of the spices and the fresh ginger, turmeric, and garlic and stir around to coat the pieces.
Add the water, bouillon cube, and chopped veggies.
Bring to a boil and then lower the heat slightly to gently boil the potatoes.
Cook until the potatoes are easily pierced with a fork.
Strain the mixture and save the “curry broth” for another use.
Reserve 1 cup of broth for the veggies.
Transfer the cooked veggies to a large bowl and add in the coconut oil and the reserved broth.
Using a hand mixer on low, beat the veggies until the potatoes disintegrate (yes, they really disintegrate into fluffy mashed potatoes).
Keep beating and scraping down the sides until morale improves and proper mashed potato consistency is achieved.
Serve with protein and greens of choice!

Mashies, tempeh, and broth.

curried mashed potatoes vegan gluten-free | gothic granola

This is the “Gothic” edition of my editorial game “Into It/Over It” since the previous instance was the “granola” edition.

Over it: “Healthy” food and recipes being my default Pinterest welcome view

Because writing is better than cooking or eating. Not that healthy brownie recipes aren’t important, but I have the ones I like (a paleo one, a vegan bean one, and a regular vegan one).  Ever wonder why the photos on this blog really don’t “sell” my recipes all that well?  It’s because I’m not that interested in taking photos of food (or I’m just lazy or in a rush). Dark avant-garde fashion, crumbling castles, and interesting vehicles are my speed right now.

Into it: Dmitry Thanatos (Angel Thanatos)

Because novel. Creative backgrounds and cosplay, editorial fashion, and the ability to tell a story with one’s body–what more can I say?  And gorgeous bone structure, mm-hmm.

Over it: “Alternative” Colorado

From a recent KMFDM concert and a few other parties, clearly Colorado’s alternative music and lifestyle scene is where all of Colorado’s unhealthy people are hiding, when everyone else in the state makes the statistics for one of the least inactive states. Makes me cry inside for the lack of compassion people have for themselves. A disease of self-care…

Into it: Buying a house in the country and/or moving further west and farther away from other people

Moving is running from the problem (TC’s specialty), but with real estate, it’s another move in the game of “let’s attain social legitimacy!” that adults play. The only reason I can say “fuck that noise” to said game is because I grew up in a very socially legitimate household of two opposite-gender parents, family dinners, Sunday morning Mass, and Miceli brownies. Sure enough, it’s easier to run from legitimacy than it is to attain it. “Hell is other people.”—Jean Paul Sartre

Over it: Getting a motorcycle

It’s not my fantasy vehicle. It’s also expensive for what you get (a two-wheeled vehicle that loses its value steeply after 60K miles and you can only ride in fair weather). I am also too short for most sportbikes, so if another cherry Honda Hawk becomes available when I can’t afford to buy it, I will cry.

Into it: Buying a hearse and making it a rat rod

I don’t know the first thing about car maintenance other than the vagaries of owning a Volvo, but learning car mechanics through buying and restoring an older vehicle appeals to me. Hearses!

Over it: TY Plushies

What?! Sacrilege for Ownie Q! Indeed, TY has fallen off of my list of collectible plushies. Beanie Boos are too creepy and unrealistic, what with their pink fur and glitter eyes, and I keep my collection of “fantasy cats” (and bunnies) to a minimum.

Into it: Jellycat Plushies

“Medium bashful” cats and buns! Soft, machine washable, squeezable plush in all the right sizes. Yes, Jellycat is premium plush (USD $23 for a “medium” and $15 for a “small”—highway robbery) but I could have worse expensive habits than buying a plush every two weeks.

Over it: Having Two X Chromosomes

Can’t do much about my biology other than lose 35 lbs and get down to 10% body fat. At that size and weight, I look a lot more androgynous and stop getting the red tide. Problem solved. No, I don’t want kids, and the last time I lost my period, I had no serious health issues. Actually, the first time I became anorexic, it was a weight loss kick that spiraled out of control, and my goal after a while was to lose enough body fat in order not to menstruate. Well, I won, and I didn’t menstruate for almost 2 years. Didn’t have brittle bones or heart trouble, so…

Into it: Androgyny and sub 13% body fat.

Probably it’s irresponsible of me as a health coach to even talk about this body size/shape stuff without shoving some “love your body” and “health at every size” dogma down your throat, but tell that to trans people. Love is creation, in my world, and I don’t expect you to share my views, just as you shouldn’t expect me to share yours. I’ll respect them, though. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself” —Either anonymous or George Bernard Shaw.  You find yourself in the process of creation, like revealing a sculpture from a chunk of stone or wood or clay. Life is a constant refining of one’s principles–or reification?

Over it: Long Hair

Long story short, I tried growing out my hair, tried having a heavy fringe of bangs again, and tried dying my hair a natural-looking red last year. I wasn’t having any of it after a few weeks with each new style. When I was younger, I had a bowl cut or a bob with bangs, and when I finally grew out my hair long (and grew out my bangs), my mom did my hair (she learned to French braid and use the hairagami) until I could put up my own hair in high school.  As with many things in my adult life, I WAS RIGHT GODDAMMIT. I was right that I’m androgynous and ace; I was right that the death hawk is the hair for me; and I was right that writing is my true calling. SUCK IT.

Into it:  Short Hair

Got my sides shaved and hawk trimmed to chin length by the lovely Tina at Station 336 salon. So excited. The deed has been done, and I’ve got nothing but compliments on my haircut. It is “my” look and I love how androgynous it is.

Over it: Monster Energy

It’s just…not good anymore. Not as if it ever was “good” for you, but the taste has gotten old and the joltiness really ramps up my anxiety.  Organic Rockstar is also the same. Tastes like Canna Energy (aka: slightly skunky, if you know what I mean).

Into it: Rebbl Tonics

OMG, choco-reishi $4.99 drinks?! Sign me up! Their herbal cat’s claw hibiscus one is tasty, too, in an earthy-sweet way.  Yes, they have caffeine, but do you want to constrict your blood vessels to “wake up” with natural supplements or mystery compounds?

Over it: True Blood (the HBO Series)

I like urbane vampires. Urbane vampires in a small town gets old. I’m not done reading the Southern Vampires Mystery Series by Charlaine Harris yet, so I don’t have a final verdict on how far the books actually took that plot line.

Into it: Salem (Netflix series)

It begins with “Cupid Carries a Gun” from Marilyn Manson’s latest album The Pale Emperor. I’m getting back into that album, actually, and it was a pleasant surprise to begin this series, loosely based on the events and people of the Salem Witch Trials of the 17th century in Salem, MA, with a song from that album.

I may review The Pale Emperor, almost 10 months after it was released, since it took me this long to re-listen to it.

“Better pray for hell/ Not hallelujah.”

5 Thoughts on “When Life Gives You Potatoes | Into It/Over It, Gothic Edition

  1. ann kerr on 24/09/2015 at 10:46 said:

    Yes to the new haircut, no to anorexia; yes to the jellycat, no to the expense and frustration in restoring an older vehicle. Just sayin’

    AA

  2. Pingback: Nightshade Nightmares: Mashed Potato Waffles | Gothic Granola

  3. When life gives you potatoes, ya make potato salad! And I’ve just got a recipe! Buckle your pants! Buckle your pants! Pull up your socks and dance!

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