Gothic Granola



protein shake prep vegan gluten-free | gothic granola 

Mood music:
“Shakes” by Tones on Tail

The above photo is of a pure hemp protein powder, psyllium husk, and water shake/smoothie thing I made. My coworkers ever so politely tell me my protein shakes look like vomit. As a friend of mine sent me this photo lately,

The image you want is not available. Here is Max in a box. vegan gluten-free | gothic granola

The image you want is not available. Here is Max in a box instead.


I will let that bit of bitchiness speak for itself.

My options at work for drinking, since we cannot eat while working, are thus:

  • Buy kombucha. Get drunk. (More than half a bottle makes me tipsy).
  • Drink a cold-pressed juice, the naturally-occurring sugar in which will make me crash harder than a five-year-old on rollerblades.
  • Drink a horchata-like fat and sugar concoction which pushes my already high fat intake disgustingly high.
Not many options for a VGF protein shake off the shelf. Hence, I make my own.
Periodically, I will do a pseudo juice-fast  where my calories are from liquids as a form of digestive rest. As I am particularly stressed (which is NOT “desserts” spelled backwards) in the transition from old job to new job (starting next week!), I figured I’d give myself a break yesterday.  I made:
Rawmeal Vanilla Chai and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology, both made with unsweetened vanilla almondmilk and ice.


Maca Magick
1 tablespoon psyllium husk
1 tablespoon maca powder
1 tablespoon black cocoa or cacao powder
1 scoop chocolate raspberry protein powder
1 scoop straight hemp protein powder
4 cups water
Blitz in blender (no ice) and divide into three containers.




2 cups kale
1 cup frozen blueberries
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon miso

Blitz and divide into two containers. I froze mine as always and drank it the next day.

3 carrots
1 1/2 cups frozen strawberries
water to make it go
Blitz and freeze.


Kombucha and detox tea.

So I had the Shakeology, Rawmeal, kombucha and detox tea (and some green tea, berry zinger, and chamomile tea), one kale-blueberry, and strawberry-carrot. Dinner was solid chickpea soul soup, kale, and steamed asparagus. The carrot-strawberry smoothie was dessert. Wasn’t hungry enough to have the maca magick. I am no expert on juice fasting, but at the end of the day and then this morning, I felt much more relaxed.

Parting shots:

Oh how I wish my clothing budget could accommodate this pleather jumper I found at Macy’s…however, at three times the price I was willing to pay, there’s eBay and thrift stores in the meantime.

vince camuto pleather dress | gothic granola


I asked Ownie Mom for my Halloween socks and she sent them to me wrapped in Whole Foods bags and secured with green rubber bands…is she mocking me? 😉

One Thought on “Shakes

  1. Pingback: No Mercy on the Fury Road | Gothic Granola

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