Gothic Granola AUT FACERE AUT MORI

No-Cook Chilli


Speaking of flesh, my mom and I made chilli side-by-side last year, she making carnivorous chili and I making vegan chilli.  Chilli is one of those dishes that I think people can get really up-in-arms about since everyone knows someone who makes a good one.  Or they make a good one themselves.  I offer a chilli recipe that’s been adapted for the dorm.  I found a recipe on the interwebs sometime last April and neglected to bookmark it.  


I have no pictures of the chilli so all food pictures have been replaced with cats.




I’m hereby giving someone else credit for the idea of putting specifically Maya Gold chocolate in chilli, but I’m sorry, I forget the site.  I made this around finals because the concept was to use as much disparate food as I had in my freezer and under my bed before leaving campus.  It’s also a good dish for finals time when school manifests itself as the marvellous inconvenience that it is, and I allow the demands of a student to eat into my eating and cooking time.  

This freezes well.  The salsa label described the contents of the jar as “voluptuous,” and I would agree, the salsa is sensually pleasurable, if you like it when the corners of your lips hurt because you’ve been eating spicy food.  As you peruse the ingredient lists for both versions, you may ask, “Hey, where’s the fat?  It won’t taste good without oil or something…”


Chocolate has fat, hello.  Chocolate is what makes it delicious.

Version 1 is completely dorm-friendly.   Version 2 requires a little more work.




Use-Up Chilli

Version 1:
1 jar 3-bean roasted corn tomato salsa
2 cans beans, rinsed (black beans and kidney)
1 can Italian-style tomatoes, juice and all
1 bag frozen corn
1 bag frozen collard greens (defrosted and cooked)
Cumin
Chilli powder
1 tablespoon white vinegar
Cinnamon
1 1.2-ounce bar Maya Gold chocolate, melted (NO LONGER VEGAN)


Combine all ingredients except for the chocolate in a large bowl.  Melt the chocolate and stir it in (it doesn’t have to be completely melted).  Portion it out into containers.  Freeze and reheat.  Serve with rice, cornbread, nutritional yeast, and/or vegan cheeze.



Version 2:


1/4 cup white vinegar
1 onion, diced
2 cloves of garlic, diced or pressed
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/3 teaspoon cinnamon
1 16-ounce cilantro-green olive salsa (I had Salpica brand and it’s mild)
1 16-ounce can black beans, rinsed
1 16-ounce can kidney beans, rinsed
1 16-ounce can whole tomatoes and juice (salted or not is your pref)
1/3 of a 3.5-ounce bar of dark, spicy chocolate (50% cacao and up; I used Green & Black’s Organic Maya Gold chocolate, which is 55 percent cacao AND NO LONGER VEGAN)

Brown rice
Cheeze

Heat a 10-inch sauté pan over medium heat.  Add the vinegar once it’s hot.  Once that’s sizzling, add the onions.  Cook until translucent. 

While the onions are bubbling away, combine the salsa, beans, and tomatoes in a large bowl.

Back to the range: add the spices and stir around for a minute until they’re fragrant (thanks for the tip, Ownie Mom!).  Add the garlic and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated.  Break in the chocolate and stir around until melted.  Remove from heat and stir into the salsa-bean mixture.  Add whatever amount you’re going to be eating right that second back to the pan and heat it up.  This is also tasty cold as lunchbox fare.

If you are so lucky as to have a big pot or Dutch oven, then you can sautee the onions and garlic in that until they are translucent.  Then pour in the beans, tomatoes, and salsa.  Cook until heated through, then break in the chocolate and melt.


This is not chilli…it’s rice, banana, and nooch in a stack. And carrots, soymilk, and tea.

Serve with brown rice, cornbread, cheeze…and tissues as your nose will run if you make it nice and spicy. 


I’ve been wearing a bandanna over my hair for the past few days for two reasons.  One: my hair is long; the hairagami only holds so much hair out of my face.  Two: I’m avoiding wearing a hat since my hats rest a little too close to my new left upper conch piercing, and my head is cold since I’m so used to wearing a hat.  Net effect: I look like a pirate, especially with my piercings and tattoo.  I’m the dread pirate Captain Q.



I enjoy wearing an apron while I cook since it’s a visual reminder that I’m focused on cooking and little else when I’m in the kitchen.  I also wear an apron because I make messes, and messes don’t work with all black.  Now with my head-kerchief habit, I’d like to think I’m channelling my Italian great-great-grandmothers.  ‘Cept they didn’t have tattoos and non-earlobe piercings, I’ll bet.
Come to the Dark Side…we have vegan and gluten-free goodies.

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